Why You Feel Worse Before You Feel Better in Therapy
Saphire Hanna, LCMHC
You started therapy to feel better, and now you leave sessions feeling raw, tired, or more upset than when you walked in. That can be scary, especially if you’re wondering whether therapy is making things worse. Feeling worse before you feel better in therapy is more common than you might think, and it often has a clear reason. Here’s why it happens, how to get through it, and how to tell normal discomfort from a sign that something needs to change.
Why Therapy Can Make You Feel Worse at First
Most of us cope with painful feelings by pushing them aside. Therapy asks you to slow down and look at what you’ve been avoiding, and that can stir up emotions you’ve kept at a distance for years. When therapy makes you feel worse, it’s often because those feelings are finally getting attention.
Some therapies expect a rise in distress at first. Prolonged exposure, a treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder, may cause a temporary increase in symptoms, and the Department of Veterans Affairs tells patients this before they start. In a similar way, anxiety tends to ease when you stop avoiding what triggers it and stay with the feeling instead of escaping it.
Feeling Emotional After Therapy Sessions
Strong feelings after a session are a normal part of therapeutic discomfort, the strain that comes with working on hard things. In the hours or days after a session, you might feel:
- Drained or ready for a nap
- Teary or close to the surface
- Irritable or short with people
- Stirred up by memories or vivid dreams
This stretch is also when many people quit. If you’re asking yourself why you feel worse after therapy, stepping away can seem like the obvious answer. Quitting therapy too early can mean leaving before you and your therapist have had a chance to adjust the pace.
How to Stay Grounded Between Sessions
A few habits can make the days after a session easier:
- Plan a soft landing. If you can, leave 15 to 30 minutes after a session for a walk, music, or downtime before jumping back into work.
- Write down what came up. A few notes help you bring those thoughts to your next session instead of carrying them alone.
- Ask what to expect. Early in treatment, ask your therapist what the first few months may feel like and how you’ll pace the hard parts together.
Do You Have to Feel Worse to Get Better?
If you’ve been feeling worse, therapy may still be on track, but worsening isn’t a required step either. A University of Melbourne psychologist who reviewed outcome research found that early improvement was the most common pattern in a large study of therapy clients, with no evidence that symptoms must worsen before they improve. For many people, relief starts early.
That matters, because ongoing distress is something to raise with your therapist rather than push through. Research shows that more than one in ten clients have some kind of negative experience in therapy, and researchers describe these moments as a signal to adjust the work. Talk with your therapist if:
- You’ve felt worse for several weeks with no relief at all
- You’re struggling to get through work, school, or home life
- You feel unsafe, judged, or dismissed in sessions
A good therapist will welcome that conversation. If the work still feels off after you’ve raised it, it may be time to look at whether therapy is working for you and whether a different approach would fit better.
Final Thoughts
Feeling raw after therapy can be part of doing hard, honest work, and it often eases as you build new ways to cope. Your therapist is there to help you set the pace, and therapy can be adjusted as your needs change. Whether you’re starting out or looking for a fresh approach, support is here whenever you’re ready.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. Is therapy supposed to be hard?
Therapy can feel hard at times, especially when you’re working through painful memories or patterns. It shouldn’t feel hard all the time, though. Most sessions should leave you with some sense of direction, even on tough days.
2. How long does feeling worse in therapy last?
Feeling stirred up after a session often fades within a day or two. If you’ve felt worse overall for several weeks, bring it up with your therapist so you can adjust the pace together.
3. Should I tell my therapist I feel worse?
You should, and it’s one of the most useful things you can share. It helps your therapist understand what’s working, so they can slow down, change the approach, or give you more tools between sessions.
Animo Sano Psychiatry is now serving patients across multiple states. If you’d like to schedule an appointment, please contact us to get started.
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